Life segment Category
For the last few days I’ve been in and out of work. Not really because I was entirely slothful but because I wasn’t well organised and fell a little bit ill. I came down with something last weekend and it almost sent me to the hospital, but thank God for today. I am stronger and better ^.^.
To the former factor of me not being as organised, it was entirely my fault. I am someone who works on to-do lists and plans tasks to the detail. Impromptu doesn’t work for me. At the beginning of each week I write out all I need to do and set reminders. I like to consider myself a fairly busy person. I currently run about 3 different ventures hence, I do a lot of mental work for totally unrelated businesses which could be quite demanding.
When I was analysing my productivity for last week it was beyond average. Amidst the fuel scarcity, lack of electricity and my personal inadequacy I didn’t achieve as much as I would have loved to. I was basically running behind schedule in replying emails, running errands and taking care of my self.
This new week I set out goals to get back on track. I thought to myself, what did I do in the past that helped me achieve the maximum potential of my time. I then came up with some Pointers which I thought to share.
1.WAKEUP EARLY! Sleep is great but can be the ultimate enemy. It’s been raining heavily lately, and you know how sleep and rain are a match made in heaven. I realised that waking up at least an hour before my usual time helps me to get through the day more efficiently. I wake up early and do my morning rituals (i.e my devotion, check emails, tidy my bed, take a shower, iron my clothes and pack up my bag for the day). For now I don’t have a job that requires me to be at the office by 8’0 clock hence it has encouraged me to drag my feet,the office is a 15mins drive from the house so you can imagine the bliss. However, I know from experience that one must be faithful and excellent in all endeavours regardless of how comfortable. Waking up early is one thing I feel can totally orchestrate the order of your day. It allows the day to go un-rushed thereby getting things done efficiently.
2. EAT RIGHT no matter how much of a James Bond you think you are, nature must take its course. Part of the reasons for my breakdown last week was because I wasn’t eating well. I eat out a lot! I can count on one hand how many times I’ve cooked since I came back to Nigeria(5months +). I used to be a health junkie, smoothies, lots of water and small but adequate portions of food. That kept me fit, alert, energised and ready for each day. But lately I get so occupied that I eat once a day, but that meal would be mighty. Surprisingly I have not added or lost weight significantly regardless of this diet change. Instead it breeds problems like fatigue, stress and less mental work. Everything would feel like a chore because there’s no fuel to keep you going. See nutrients as fuel.
So Cassie Daves and I have been discussing this topic in secret and I think it’s the appropriate time to share my thoughts.
Since I started blogging I’ve been privileged to work with a substantial amount of brands, see them HERE. Both in Nigeria and internationally. With that, I have noticed a lot of difference in the business of blogging in Nigeria and abroad. Many of which are not favorable to Nigerian bloggers.
I’d be doing a series on this topic, and this is the first of three. Today’s topic is “Approach”. I hope a fellow blogger or brand would read this and effect some changes in their PR & business activities.
Many Nigerian companies approach bloggers for brand exposure (meaning they acknowledge your value & influence). However, the remuneration and manner of approach they bring to us sometimes isn’t the most encouraging. Let me give you a vivid example of a UK company that mailed me for partnership, Versus a Nigerian company.
“Hello Tosin, Trust you’re doing well. I’m Mark from xxxx company, We got your mail from the contact section of your blog. My team was doing an online round-up of Nigerian bloggers and africanismcosmopolitan.com came up. Your content is fresh and original which resonates with what our brand stands for, we especially loved your post on xxxxxx. That being said, we’d be honoured if you’re interested in participating in our new campaign targeted at youths between ages 18-29. For now our company cannot afford to give cash compensations but is willing to offer you products worth £200, with an extra 10% coupon code for your readers. You’d be given the liberty to choose the products you want from our website embedded HERE.
Kindly let us know if this is something that would interest you. Our company & Campaign information can be found here & here, do not hesitate to reply this mail with any questions you may have.
Mark Cumming( Marketing & PR)
Good day sir/ma,
Please find attached a press release for your blog, Our company xxxx is currently undergoing a new brand campaign, we have selected a number of bloggers in Nigeria, and you’ve been included. Kindly send your mailing address and contact number so we could send you a product from our new range. Otherwise you can pick up from our outlet at No. X, xxxx street, xxxx, Lagos.
You can reply this mailing address with any question you may have,
We anticipate your response,
Follow us on twitter, Facebook & Instagram
Toun Okoro ( xxxx company)
Notice the difference in the manner of approach. Both companies may/may not have a budget for this campaign, however if I were to do a free post/review/advert, the company I’d choose is clear. The first company did the following:
- Addressed me with my name
- Mentioned my blog and referred to a post (showed they went through/acknowledge my work)
- Mentioned their target audience to show its in line with my readers.
- Explained that they do not have a monetary form of remuneration currently.
- Offered a substantial compensation, that could add value to me and my blog readers.
- Left contact details and a website to learn more about them.
- Asked/hoped if I’d be Interested, not assumptous.
WHEREAS THE NIGERIAN COMPANY
- Referred to me as sir/ma.
- Did not mention my blog or name (makes it seem impersonal or was a mass email request)
- Did not tell me about their campaign or where I could learn more.
- Said I was ‘included’ as though it was something I applied for.
- Assumed I had an obligation to publish their attached press release.
- Overall message seemed imposing, instead of coming off as a proposal for consideration.
To bloggers what I’m saying is this, These companies approached you for a reason, they felt you could add value to them some sort of way, hence you should be seen as an asset to their company. As a blogger you fall under advertising and media, which is included in their yearly budget.
What you spend your time, energy and money on you value. So when these companies approach you, see yourself as an asset as well.
Many big name firms would approach you, which truthfully is a great opportunity, but in business there is no charity. Partnerships favours BOTH parties either monetary or not.
So as a blogger do not say ‘ WOW Apple contacted me to review their new watch” Instead think like this “I’m glad Apple reached out to me, it shows my hard work, online platform and audience base is well valued”.
Point is this, don’t sell yourself short. Freebies won’t pay for your internet data, camera or domain name maintenance.
I hope this post communicates my thoughts well, I sincerely do not mean to sound abrupt, I just feel Nigerian businesses have a lot to improve on as regards their business modules and marketing efforts.
The next post on this topic would be on ‘Budgets and Fees”. The money aspect of blogging.
Please Feel free to share, drop a comment and ask questions below.
This post is owned by Africanismcosmopolitan.com and parts or all of it must not be republished without prior consent of author, in cases where the post is being referred to, kindly link the blog name. Legal actions would be taken when otherwise.
Funny how lately I’ve been on about people who are comfortable in their excesses. In the sense that some are aware of their bad personalities but are absolutely comfortable in saying “This is me, love me or hate me”…… Well, when that could be applicable and justified in some cases, it’s often said by those with questionable attitudes.
This morning I saw this image below on Instagram and when this could also be the plain truth , I felt it would give individuals with
unpleasant characters e.g (prideful, Overbearing, abruptly rude a.k.a Blunt) the justification to bask in their folly.
With the above image, what happens when ‘YOU’ is just not nice.
I feel it’s not just OK to only acknowledge our areas of growth, it’s necessary to identify, evaluate and make corrections. It’s like repentance. You don’t only confess your sins to God, you need to turn away from them to be truly repentant.
I shared this scripture with a friend this morning, “Do not give your pearls to pigs…” Matthew 7:6
However, the hard reality is that sometimes you are the pig that no one should give their pearls to. We all need growth but some virtues are foundational. e.g integrity, humility, selflessness and walking in love.
No body can fix you except yourself and Jesus, And the moment we acknowledge our dirt and filth, the faster we get washing.
Give yourself time to find your self and know where you need help. Don’t Exhaust people with your emotions or excesses. Learn to be whole, happy and content alone before expecting a commitment from another.
People can’t always accommodate that which you struggle with. Don’t expect everyone to always understand that you need to grow.
Instead, Make a conscious effort to Grow ……..
God help us all.
Hello! How you doing? hope all is well and you’re getting geared for the easter celebration? I’m so excited! as I’ve ordered small chops for the weekend and it’s being delivered today. I love small chops! puff puff, spring rolls all those mede mede…..amazing! Also I have like three events this weekend, and If I […]
Here’s an outfit post from today. I think I’m going to buy a small umbrella that I can put in my purse, the sun in Lagos is scorching, I’ve reduced my makeup drastically to avoid sweating, all I need now is a good sunscreen! please recommend a good one I can buy… thank you ^.^.
Also I’ve gone back to my bun. I would soon return to weave but I needed a breather……….Been a while I did a natural hair post/update, would do one soon..
This is one of my favorite dresses, I wear it every time there’s no time to scatter my closet for what to wear……
My weekend round-up is below the cut……
DRESS: RIVER ISLAND| BAG:ANNA SMITH | SHOES: BELLE WOMAN
How’s your day going? mine is a bit busy but good so far. Sorry I missed out on the weekend roundup, I had a chilled weekend. Church and mostly sleep……..Although I went to Yaba market with my friend and it wasn’t a pleasant experience. The rowdiness and the shop owners pulling us to check out their stalls was just not nice. Never again! lol
On sunday I went to church with Obum, had some froyo from sweet kiwi(It’s safe to say I’m a very loyal customer) then we went over to my friend Jennifer’s store. She’s a fashion designer, Obum and I wanted her to make some shift dresses for us. I would show you them when its made.
Those who follow me on Instagram may have seen my sunday posts, but here’s an update for those who don’t use Instagram…
And that’s all!
Have a great week ahead.
P.S. For those in Nigeria, If you have a voters card, please endeavour to cast your vote. Change starts with you….
Also don’t forget to Vote africanismcosmopolitan.com to win ‘the best personal/Lifestyle blog”! You can Vote HERE! Thank you!
I’m excited! can you tell? lol Thank you all for nominating me in the last few months! I was super pleased this morning when I got the mail saying I’ve been nominated for the best personal or lifestyle blog.
I’d be honoured if I won. So please do help me win by voting. The polls are open and ends in two weeks so I’d appreciate all campaigns, reposts and votes ^.^
Thank you so much for the support so far. I’m very grateful!
You can vote HERE. Scroll down to number 18 and choose the first option: Africanism cosmopolitan.
If I win we’d all share the reward ^.^
How do your week go, you all know how I love weekends, always something to do or just sleep like I do sometimes. This weekend for me was a busy one. On friday I went home straight from the office and just slept like a baby while on saturday I went to Lagos Island market with my friends Seun and Dewunmi.
Dewunmi blogs at koolstorys.com do check her out, her stories are awesome.
Here’s what I wore on friday…[caption id="attachment_5468" align="aligncenter" width="639"] Shoes: River Island|Purse: HOF|Jeans: newlook[/caption]
At the market, I wanted to get some fabrics and a new clothing rack for my room. The one I had collapsed the other day and I just couldn’t find another. Here’s a picture of how my old one looked like.
I found the fabrics at Ereko street Idumota, the guys that attended to us were very nice and courteous. I got 6 fabrics in total. 3 Silks and 3 Chiffons. I intend to make shift dresses and Iro & buba out of them….pardon how I look below, Seun is a horrid photographer lol. I wore an Ankara bubu(free maxi dress) and clutched my bag tight for security reasons, loitering hoodlums don’t play…..
It’s been three years since I visited Lagos market, but I could still find my way around. During our sojourn, my slippers cut, so I had to sit in a store whilst I get it fixed or buy a new one. A really nice store owner let me sit in her store and she looked for a cobbler for me. When she didn’t find one she offered me an extra pair of slippers in her store, which I was quite surprised by her extra kind gesture. I took them, went to buy a new pair and returned hers. Trust me, there are still nice people in this world. I didn’t even buy anything from her……such a lovely lady!
Moving on, I bought so much street food on my way round the market. From Boli(Roasted plantain) to Agbalumo/odara (White star fruit) to Smoked fish (Eja osan). I was just eating anyhow, luckily no food poisoning a day after…. I also got Fan Yogurt, My favorite!
The shopping experience, street food and scorching sun was fun lol .
p.s never wear makeup(not even powder like I did) to huge markets, Lesson learnt!
Fast forward to Sunday, I went to church with my lovely friend Obum, the sermon was awesome! The preacher talked about releasing all to God and just basking in his grace and mercy by faith. i.e releasing your fears, expectations, qualifications, worries e.t.c…….Since we are a product of grace we should walk in it boldly.
After church we changed into our slippers and went to Sweet kiwi in lekki as foodies ^.^. I think since I got back I’ve been there practically every weekend. My favorite mix is Kiwi and pineapple topped with granola and grapes, Yum! Also the store attendant asked if I wanted a loyalty card, and as a regular I’m entitled to 10% off henceforth ^.^ I said Yes with joy and collected it! *dancing*!!
From sweet kiwi I went to shoprite to look for the rack as I didn’t find any yesterday at the market, I found one at shoprite but wasn’t the one I was looking for so I just went to window shop instead. I ended up at the DAVIVA Store there, and bought this beautiful Ankara fabric, It was love at first sight. Yellow on dark skin is absolutely beautiful, can’t wait to sew this into a dress.
This weekend was eventful, Obum even lost her phone today, but thankfully someone found it, and hopefully we’d pick it up tomorrow evening.
This year has been a fantastic year so far, a few downs but God has been so faithful in all areas. One of my goals this year was to live a very full life, from the littlest of things to the biggest moments, I promised myself to live all cheerfully and in gratitude. So cheers to more outstanding moments this year.
Oh yes I have some good news for you all, but would share later this week ^.^
Before I leave to get some good dinner, you all know I develop SME’s for a living right? Incase you didn’t know, check me out HERE. This weekend I worked on a new client called RevampCloset Ng. They are a wardrobe design, closet management and layout company. So if you struggle with keeping a tidy and functional closet like me, do check them out HERE.
Logo design and branding by yours truly tosinalabi.com for RevampclosetNg
Have an amazing week ahead.
Got Questions, requests or suggestions? Kindly leave a comment below, I’d love to hear from you…
Welcome to another edition of ’20 Lessons of my 20’s ( A segment that discusses various things I’ve learnt and I’m still learning as a young woman). Thank you always taking time to read these posts, I’m encouraged by your kind comments and shares! incase you missed the last edition, Read HERE. Today’s topic is “Emotional Intelligence” which for some reason I’ve been procrastinating, but the events of this week has prompted me to get this out there. so do read, share and enjoy.
As usual, All ‘lessons’ are solely a result of my personal experiences, but I do hope they are valuable and worth sharing to someone else. Do have an open mind whilst reading….
I personally feel Nigerians have quite an aggressive nature, not all but a large population. Even in the most simple scenarios like queues, traffic, or just gatherings, the forceful and imposing behavior just shows. We often fail to acknowledge the feelings of others and majorly have the “things must go my way” mentality. When whereas we should sometimes observe, evaluate, understand and adjust.
I did a brief survey and realised that 4 out of 5 people do not know what Emotional intelligence(E.I) is. I first heard this phrase a while back and due to my inquisitive nature I went ahead to do research on it.
So simply put, E.I is “effectively managing your emotions and that of others” . Meaning you are well aware of the way you feel towards things/people and considerate of how others feel. Hence, your actions and decisions follow suit.
“Peter Salovey and John D. Mayer defined emotional intelligence as, “the subset of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and actions” (1990)
That is, you’re less aggressive, imposing, overbearing, overly sensitive and self-seeking.
Emotional intelligence allows you to manage people and also horn your leadership skills. It also gives you mental balance. You don’t get upset easily , you create room for people’s excesses, you have more control over your emotions and a more peaceful outlook to life.
There are many components to Emotional intelligence, like respect for the choices of Others, showing compassion, sense of humour when required, originality, applying intuition and creative reasoning. In essence, E.I promotes self-regulation i.e. the ability to control and redirect disruptive impulses and moods. This allows us to suspend judgement, and think before any action.
Further more, Emotional intelligence is largely linked with empathy, allowing you to treat and relate with people according to their emotional reactions. For example, my mum is quite sentimental, so being logical with her would never work. it would only get me infuriated and impatient. So now I’m learning to pad my opinions to her, especially when I feel strongly about an issue. Being abrupt and blunt may seem imposing and overbearing to her, so I need to soften my pitch and choice of words to attain a favorable response. Whereas I on the other hand despise patronage, I’d rather you say it as it is no matter how unpleasant. So any one relating with me needs to understand that to get desired results.
One thing Emotional intelligence also teaches you is that not everyone can be emotionally intelligent, but as I tweeted the other day, this is when the fruits of the spirit comes in. “Love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and my personal favourite “self-Control”.
I’d like to consider the faith-based perspective of Emotional intelligence as basically having the fruits of the spirit. Having this makes you more pleasant, understanding, and more relatable, which is when you can foster better and positive relationships with people.
There are several articles and teachings on E.I and it would be great if we read up on it to develop our reasoning quotient, Here’s a fantastic one I found for leaders: E.I FOR LEADERS
Do have a great day ahead!
16 Lessons to go. I hope to one day publish these writings into a book/compilation, but until then it’s all for you my blog readers!
Got Questions, requests or suggestions? Kindly leave a comment below, I’d love to hear from you
Hello! Happy Monday! sure your weekend was great and if not, no worries…..better days ahead. My weekend was quite eventful, I attended the Closeup Cupid’s ball and met quite a couple of blog readers ^.^ shout out to everyone I saw–sad we didn’t take pictures. **I would share personal/event pictures in a later post. Unto […]
Sometimes do you feel your heart skip at the thought of an issue….or do you just feel distraught when some thoughts cross your mind… I know that feeling too well. I remember about two years ago when I was dealing with some personal issues, I had so much anxiety that it started affecting my dream/sleep life. Oh how I hated those times, but thank God for today.
I often say that in life my top three desires are to 1. to fulfil purpose, 2. have good health and 3. peace of mind.
But more than often life throws us a curve ball which may affect our mood, thoughts, and even happiness, which is not God’s perfect plan. Jesus is a prince of peace(Isaiah 9:6) and above all he wants you to experience calmness and peace in all areas.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” Philippians 4:6-7
Fear is also another subtle tool of the enemy, he wants you to live in fear so much that your fear holds you back from praying and even believing in the promises of God. It’s an expression of his deceptive nature, he wants to blind-side you on your position and privileges in christ. Remember my post on Deception .
I feel that when we have fear or are emotionally unstable it breeds room for ill thoughts and is an expression of lack of trust in God. I’ve been afraid, I’ve been paranoid, and I’ve been very fearful of what tomorrow holds, but today I thank God for the understanding of his word. Peace is a birthright of a believer. Salvation comes with freedom, joy, deliverance, dominion and Peace. God is not a God of disorder but of peace (1 Corinthians 14:33).
So how do we operate a life of peace? easy.
- Ask God for peace: Matthew 11:28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls”-
- Believe you have it, it’s your heritage as a believer. Psalm 85:8 ” I will listen to what God the LORD will say; he promises peace to his people, his saints– but let them not return to folly’ also see John 16:33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
- Ask God to help you stop any habits that are ungodly and abide in him: Psalm 34:14 ‘Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it’ Also Psalms 119:165 “Great peace have they who love your law, and nothing can make them stumble”.
- Trust God in all your ways- “Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit”
Know that God doesn’t give us fear, he is a God of peace. So if a situation in your life gives you fear it can’t be from him….I pray that every heart reading this post may be filled with the peace and joy of God that surpasses all human reasoning in Jesus name.
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid” John 14:27
Have a peace filled day, week, month, year and life ahead!