EXPRESSING DISAPPOINTMENTS, ANGER AND SIN
I find it rather ironic that I’m typing this, but truly all things work together for good.
Today was that “Uggh Why!” kind of day..
It seemed as though everything was going in the opposite direction.
First, the lady I asked to help take out my weave assumed my hair looked liked extensions so she accidentally cut out a chunk of my hair…right in the middle. I didn’t even realise till I was braiding it down for my wig. It was a little chunk, but being a natural you know every strand counts. I was so upset but I kept telling myself “Baby don’t cry LOL, it’s just hair”.
As though that wasn’t enough, I decided to try out a new tailor which everyone in my area had been raving about. On that note, why do we Nigerians believe everything foreign is better?
So this Benin republic tailor just moved to my zone and a few people told me this “Oh you know these bene-cotonou tailors are really good, try him out”. I followed suit regardless of his high rate. This man measured me as though I was making a bridal gown. I’ve never seen so much detail in measurements. I was ecstatic thinking he really knows his craft.
Y’all! I went to pick my SIMPLE MIDI DRESS today and it was a mini dress that didn’t fit. Bros Roman (His name) didn’t get my size or length, let alone the style. The only thing commendable about the work was the finishing, it was neat, but then……………I just left there perplexed.
After all the above, The government decided it was today they’d fix the road that led to my street. The traffic it caused was unbelievable. Children came off school buses and started trekking. People parked their cars and hopped on bikes. I just sat in my car in disbelief. All my errands today were automatically aborted, I basically got home by reversing all the way….
I was on the verge of ranting and transferring aggression on my loved ones when It dawned on me that this is life as we know it. Did I keep mute and smile? No, Tosin went on to sulk.
I was so grumpy this evening that all I needed to do was to sit still and bask in the joy of the Lord, but instead I was on the prowl for anyone who would try to infuriate me further.
It’s rather easy to let emotions take over, especially as we humans are quick to justify our excesses.
I thank God for the Holy Spirit who was convicting me amidst this disgruntled episode. I found myself singing worship songs, and before I knew it I was sober-minded. I realised I was simply being ungrateful, whiny and short-fused. If I had carried on, I would have easily yet unconsciously fallen into sin.
This is not to say we are not allowed to ‘Vent’. As believers we are free to express disappointments and even anger, but with all wisdom.
Emotions are funny, they are great but they could be deceptive. Many sins are born out of emotions (self-centred feelings). Today, I could have spoken rudely to the lady or tailor, I could have cursed in my heart, I could have gotten so angry over things beyond my control………
I love this scripture “Good sense and discretion makes a man slow to anger,
and it is his honour and glory to overlook an offence“ Proverbs 19:11
I was reflecting on the events of today hence this post.
How do we know when to get angry or suppress anger? In all sincerity I can’t say, but this I know.
- The anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. James 1:20
- Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive Colossians 3:13
- Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.Ephesians 4: 26-27
- Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly. Proverbs 14:29
There are so many scriptures on anger, and most of them are linked to Foolishness and sin. Is that to say that one who gets angry quickly (no matter how ‘valid/ justified’) exhibits foolishness and is giving the devil a foothold?…..
You be the judge…
This is how I’ve learnt to deal with disappointments
- Seek out the next possible solution
- If none, I apologise to the affected parties other than me.
- I pray and thank God. The situation could have been worse.
- I share my displeasure with someone who cares but I don’t dwell on it. (consistently talking about disappointments magnifies the issue)
- If personal, I meditate on other positive things and trust God for the good promised in Romans 8:28
In all, the lesson is patience, wisdom and righteousness……
If the act, thought or word doesn’t give glory to God or represent Christ, it’s probably not worth expressing…See Colossians 3:17
This post was impromptu, but I hope it helped someone reading……
Great msg Tosin
This has been sooo helpful … thank you for sharing this Tosin a hair dresser accidentally cut in 2014 and I had to shave all my hair off it was awful I’m also a natural hair as well I’ve learned alot from your post
This is true… I am so sure everyone has had a tailor moment.. The exact thing you went through has happened to me.. It’s important to know how to handle things so we don’t transfer aggression.. Your tips are very helpful. Thank you.
It definitely helped. I’ve been carrying anger against one of my bosses for so long… It has been affecting my work and guess what? I literally broke down and missed work for 2 days. Small vex o. Thanks for sharing, Tosin. The impromptu blogposts are usually the best. 😬
This is one of my fave blog post of yours so far. Really touching and inspiring. Yes, we shouldn’t always rave and sulk. Thanks for pointing out those scriptures.
Thanks for this post. I am going through a bit of a tough time and it was really refreshing to see this and be reminded that the Lord is always with us.
I laughed out loud at the antics of the overzealous Bros Roman. @ “This man measured me as though I was making a bridal gown”. Hahaha!
Ah, some days feel like a series of unfortunate events. We pray for the grace to see the glass half full rather than half empty, and just get on with it as positively as possible, regardless.
However, I firmly believe that anger in itself is not the sin, it is our reaction whilst angry that might be sinful. Anger in itself is an emotion as natural as happiness, sadness or surprise, that is usually a response to hurt/pain/disappointment.
Now, whether that hurt/pain/disappointment is justified or not is another topic. 😀
I’ve learnt that a rebuke or complaint given with a careful gentle tone even while one is validly angry, is sometimes much more effective than one given with a harsh aggressive tone.
I think that our reaction when angry is what makes the difference between a regretful outcome and a commendable one that pleases God.
Great post, as always. Thank you for sharing.